Coachella is almost something of folklore to me, it’s extremely expensive and inclusive, it’s absolutely a mess to get to, and I never thought I would be able to go. So, after my first experience I have some expectations for those of you who dream of going to this weird gathering.
A Lot of People Don’t Go For The Music
Most people show up only for the headliners, and you will constantly hear people asking “What band is this?” or “I’ve heard they are good, but I’ve never heard their music.” I get it, I can be a music snob, but come on, look at the lineup in advance or something. I think most people are here for the spectacle and bragging rights.
No Matter What You Wear, Someone Will Be Wearing Less
I saw so much skin. I felt so modest. I think I’m scarred for life.
Everyone Has Money Except For You
The food, the drinks, and everything else is so expensive. I paid 7$ for a slice of watermelon. I could get 7 actual watermelons for that price. I saw a ton of drunk kids, and at $15 per drink, you know they must’ve paid a fortune to get that way. This really is the festival for the rich kids.
The Parking Is Actually Insanely Organized
We were in and out with no problems. At a lot of festivals I find myself fighting to get in car lines, waiting forever, and having panic attacks. The walk from parking is practically a half-marathon, but I guess it’s an okay trade-off.
The Dust Is No Joke
I inhaled the whole desert. It was in my eyes, my hair, and my mouth. I’m actually coughing it up as I type this.
You Won’t Find Any Celebrities
They’re well hidden if they exist. Honestly, there are far too many people, no wonder celebrities go here. I couldn’t even look at faces, I was too busy trying to bolt over to the next stage without getting body slammed by frat bros.
Photos Everywhere
Photos with watermelons, photos with the ferris wheel, crowd photos, photos of outfits.
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